Day 15 – The cake is no lie.

When I woke up in the morning of day 15, I thought to myself: ‘today, my dear, today, we’re going to outsmart myself”. Don’t worry about the pluralis majestatis, I haven’t lost my mind. Yet. Neither did I acquire servants and fortune over night (damn). But when trying to achieve something and pull yourself together, you’d best address all of your inner selves. I grabbed my phone first thing in the morning to set up a lunch date with a very dear friend. Luckily, she said yes. Timing couldn’t have been better! Second thing I did, was to call another dear friend, who honored me, when she asked me to be her first child’s godmother. And what an adorable child that is. I suggested a walk in the sun in the afternoon, and again, fortune was good to me. Booyah! That’s one challenge down. Not the actual meeting my friends, but the effort it takes me, after a black day, to outsmart myself and set goals or meetings up, that I can’t or won’t cancel. Instead of comfortably sitting around in the morning, waiting for what today would bring or to look at my list, I chose the one thing, that asked a little more of me. Going out, meeting friends, talking, interacting, laughing – and eating cake. That last one was a lie. I do like cake. And the one we shared was exquisite. We as in me and my friend, not as in me, myself and I, doh.

It took me a little longer than anticipated to ready myself for going out. I wanted to wear something comfortable, something nice, that provides me with security and confidence. Well, to spare you the story, I found something like that. It took a while. With my battle outfit and edgy, classic and totally non-synchronous eyeliner on, I left home, already late. We were supposed to go to a new restaurant, that turned out to be so popular, that we couldn’t get a seat there. Another challenge for me. Deviations from a plan. Adjusting to be spontaneous. To resign myself to find another place. The horror, the horror. But as I told you previously, I am getting way better at that. Today’s city girl knows just what to do in a situation like this: google. I found some good options nearby, and guess what, we picked the absolute best one. When we arrived there, however, it was full, too, but we were told that a table would be ready any minute. We waited in the entrance area – totally awkward, I know, but I managed. It’s always better with a confident friend at my side. Or just a friend. It’s always easier if I am not alone. We had the best lunch ever. Light, delicious, satisfying, beautiful and clever – just like the company.

After lunch, yet another great time with my friend and a full stomach I made myself on the way to the palace park nearby. I outsmart myself again, by asking to meet my friend right after lunch. If I went home first, I usually find it extra hard to leave again. I know, I know. Get off my back, nagging voices! That’s a challenge for another day.
My friend and her daughter waited for me at the entrance and we strolled around a bit. Out of the blue, yet another challenge arrived. We were approached by a group of strangers, nice looking people, not scary ones. I’d probably have kicked them, if they seemed scary, but instead, I decided, to not stand back and let my friend handle them, I took the lead. I am getting good at this, at least when accompanied by my trusted bodyguard – a cute baby. They were playing a game, where they were supposed to exchange random things with random things of strangers. All I could find, was a pencil, that I exchanged with some pastry. Win. Apparently what I wrote on day 13 didn’t really sink in yet. I again apologized mid-talk to be chatting about my spa weekend and everything for what felt like ages to me. I still do not trust the people around me, to decide for themselves, if they are ‘happy’ with me. I still try to make myself as acceptable as possible. Failed that challenge. To reward ourselves after the tiring hike (I am joking, just in case you couldn’t tell) we went to a really great coffee place, that my friend suggested. Oh boy, oh boy. They had cakes! We shared a piece, we are not insatiable. My little godchild got a little cranky towards the end, so we went to say our goodbyes, extra hard, when the baby in question is super cute. As is her mother. Oh my!

I went home, even made myself dinner and went to bed with a book. Not bad, what do you think?

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4 thoughts on “Day 15 – The cake is no lie.

  1. Sounds like you had a really lovely day – and you need to tell me about those restaurants! The one that was already booked out and the other one you got your food finally. Sounds like I need to try both of those!

  2. Brave girl! I knew you would be moving on after that “not so bright day” and would set yourself new goals!!! Well done!

    Acknowledgement for you my dearest friend for moving on after the day before, setting yourself new goals, being ready for new challenges, for calling and meeting up with your friends, for being spontaneous and discovering new restaurant (I look forward to being taken there the next time), for being interactive and taking the lead with strangers, for telling your stories and spoiling yourself a bit.

    And no, you haven’t failed your challenge even though you apologized and made yourself acceptable to others. It is hard to change behaviors. But the first step of changing behaviors is to become aware of them. Only then you can move to the next task of trying to change them. And you know what…. there are a lot of habits, that we cannot even change. They will be part of us as long as we live. But once we are aware of them we have the choice on how to react. how to deal with them…

    By the way, sometimes it is good to involve friends and partners in your challenges. What do I mean with that? If you want to get rid of apologizing yourself, tell your friend that you are doing that. That you want to get rid of it. And that they should make you draw your attention to it if you start doing it. You can laugh about it together. Your friends can reassure you that whatever you say is perfect, appreciated and that you are loved. The way you are! Engage them. Let them be part of your game!

    Let us know how we can support you!!!

    • It’s a good idea to involve friends, family and partners! I still refer to myself as a lone warrior, fighting and working alone – when I learned in the previous months, that there is no shame in asking for help. And that it is not needed to always be the strong, tough one. Thanks for that, good reminder and lesson!

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